‘I never liked you’: Woman Refuses to Host Thanksgiving Dinner For Ruthless Mother-in-law After MIL Makes Snide Comments About Her Weight, Creating Tension With Her Husband

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Dec 3, 2024 1:00 PM EST

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. It's daily common to have a hostile relationship with mothers of any type – be it bio moms, step-mothers, or mother-in-laws. What is it about this stereotype that carries itself in so many situations? From Brothers Grimm fairytales, to these wild Reddit stories, mothers in all forms make quite a ruckus. 

Well, this Reddit story is about…you guessed it, a mother of sorts and a dramatic situation during the holidays. The original poster (OP) is a woman who has a rocky relationship with her MIL. Her MIL has been commenting on her weight, complimenting her for her weight loss, while at the same time jabbing insults about how she used to be chubby. OP keeps it to herself, when suddenly she bursts out in emotion when MIL crosses her boundary. You'll have to read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10436067328
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  • 02
    r/AITAH • 21 hr. ago fhxueduedidiw My MIL said she never liked me and now I don't want to host thanksgiving
    via u/fhxueduedidiw
  • 03
    UPDATE: After speaking to a Filipina friend of mine, reading everyone's comments, and calming down I decided to talk to MIL. She indeed did not mean to hurt my feelings or say anything with bad intentions. She really thought she was just complimenting me. She was very sorry for hurting me and
    via u/fhxueduedidiw
  • 04
    wants to move on, she says she accepts me and loves me.
    via u/fhxueduedidiw
  • 05
    Honestly I've had a rough couple of months with unrelated issues and I think her comments yesterday were just the straw that broke the camels back. My boyfriend did get defensive when we talked about what happened but he agreed to back me up if it happens again and talk to her about not mentioning my weight.
    via u/fhxueduedidiw
  • 06
    He also supports me correcting her or letting her know if she's being rude in the future.
    via u/fhxueduedidiw
  • 07
    As far as thanksgiving, I decided that the family being together is more important than my hurt feelings. I do enjoy making it nice for everyone. We don't know how many years she may have left, and I think I can let this incident go for now. I'm not confident that she will change but I can probably handle anything for a couple days a year.
    via u/fhxueduedidiw
  • 08
    My partner and I have dated for a few years, lived together for two. When I first met his mom I was very nervous and wanted her to like me. I learned some customs that show respect and did them. I cooked meals from scratch for her that she loved. Holidays were hosted in our home, I would cook
    via u/fhxueduedidiw
  • 09
    for days and serve the whole family, making sure every detail was perfect. Holidays were lovely, I never had times like that with my own family and was grateful to the point of tearing up many times (not in front of my partners family). My partner and I have a business that takes up much of our time and hadn't seen his mother much lately, so I planned
    via u/fhxueduedidiw
  • 10
    a day to pick her up, take her to a local coffee shop she enjoys, and to lunch. As soon as she saw me she immediately commented that I had lost weight and complimented me multiple times, then asking to take selfies with me so she could post them on Facebook because I looked so pretty. I have had issues with eating disorders in the past so the
    via u/fhxueduedidiw
  • 11
    comments did make me feel weird. But I knew she was trying to compliment me so I didn't say anything. We went to lunch and she wanted to take more selfies and was again complimenting my looks. She said "You were ok before but too overweight." I don't know why this hurt me but it did. I blinked back tears, and
    via u/fhxueduedidiw
  • 12
    the food came. I couldn't eat it, and found myself pushing food around and only taking some bites of dry salad. My partner and mom ate, either not noticing that I wasn't really eating or not commenting on it. I did not want to cause a scene because again, I knew she was trying to say something nice but she is very
    via u/fhxueduedidiw
  • 13
    blunt. She is not aware that I used to starve myself, she probably wouldn't have said it if she did. After lunch, she needed to go to the restroom so I helped her (she's in her 80s and uses a cane but needs to be steadied). While she was washing her hands she told me "You know, I never liked you but you're ok now."
    via u/fhxueduedidiw
  • 14
    That did it. I couldn't hide the hurt anymore. I teared up and stammered awkwardly that her son would be right back to help her walk to the table. I went to the table and quietly told my partner I would take an Uber home, that I was upset about something his mom said but I would see him at home. His mom
    via u/fhxueduedidiw
  • 15
    tried to call me but I decided not to answer.
    via u/fhxueduedidiw
  • 16
    I guess the reason I'm feeling so upset is that I'm feeling like I'm only worth something if I'm thinner. I also thought she always liked me. She acted like she did. Now it all feels fake. I don't want to host thanksgiving anymore. Why should I kill myself cooking for days for someone who only really liked me when I lost a few pounds? My partner thinks I'm
    via u/fhxueduedidiw
  • 17
    overreacting and I misunderstood her. He said it's normal for MILS to not like DILs at first because we "take away their sons". But I didn't take him away. He is the one who hasn't made an effort to spend much time with her. Every time we have seen her is because I organized it.
    via u/fhxueduedidiw
  • 18
    But she's old, she's a blunt Asian mom, and she doesn't know I had eating disorders. So am I the ah_le for wanting to cancel thanksgiving? Should I just forgive her and it up so the family has a nice thanksgiving together? Am I being a huge baby?
    via u/fhxueduedidiw
  • 19
    confidentkatt • 21h ago • No, nta. That's just downright insulting, I don't see what good would come from those words.
    via u/confidentkatt
  • 20
    FantasticCabin... • 21h ago NTA. Top 1% Commenter You have a partner problem. Being older or Asian is no excuse to be a b and he needs to be on your side, not Mummy Dearest's.
    via u/FantasticCabin
  • 21
    Quiet-Hamster... 21h ago • Top 5% Commenter "No, it's not normal adult behaviour. Children grow and end up having their lives with their own families. I will never say those things to any DILS I may have. '
    via u/Quiet-Hamster
  • 22
    Moving forward I would put all mom stuff on him to maintain. If she messages you, ask him if she messaged him and tell him he needs to call her regarding.
    via u/Quiet-Hamster

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family drama drama thanksgiving family feud relationships lol mother in law love family reddit thread Reddit funny holidays dating
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